Am I Really Resting?

Two weeks into this new school year and I already find myself exhausted – mentally and physically. Maybe it has something to do with being 7 months along with our 4th child. Maybe it is the extra full school schedule that we have this year. Maybe it is just because we enjoyed a nice, relaxing summer with little on the calendar and now I’m finding it hard to get back into the routine. But each afternoon as I’m packing away the evidence of the day’s learning, I wonder how I’ll find the energy to make it through dinner and I find myself counting the minutes until bedtime. Then I think about my husband. He’ll be home in a couple hours. What is it like for him to come home to a wife who is always tired?

Tricia and our guest author, Cassandra Frear, have both shared wonderful thoughts on the habit of resting and each time I’ve read their posts, I put a mental check mark in that box and say “yep, I already do that one.” We’ve long had a routine of quiet time in the afternoon. A few precious moments of silence for Mom to refresh. But what occurred to me recently was how rarely I actually use that time to refresh. When I come to that part of the day I breathe a sigh of relief, pour myself some coffee, and think, “finally a few minutes for myself.” Then I open the laptop, check on Facebook, read a few blogs, catch up on e-mail, and then… oh, it’s time to start dinner. The time is gone and I’m probably more tired than I was before.

Then I heard a little whisper from the Lord saying to me, “you don’t need more time for yourself, you need more time for Me.” So I decided to try things a bit differently. I closed the laptop and reached for my Bible. For 15 minutes I just sat and read and asked God to give me the energy I need to finish the day strong. I looked up the word “weary” and reflected on what I found in those pages:

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:30-31

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

I was amazed at how instantly I could feel the weight of the day wash away. All through dinner I kept thinking on those verses. It was much easier to smile genuinely when my husband came home, much easier to stay engaged through the evening, rather than mentally checking out the minute dinner is over.